Balloons

The first time I wrote this story it was very boring but then I went back and added heaps of detail and vocab that made my reading much more interesting to make it a great piece of writing.

Something that has challenged me is when I had to change my whole piece of writing to make it more interesting to make the reader hooked into my writing.

Bang! Bang! We all started hitting the Balloons that were filling up the room you couldn’t move around the room there were so much.

“Ready I’ll stand on the still and throw some of the balloons up in the air,”

“3,2,1”.....

Bang! Bang! POP!!!!!! We all hit the same balloon at the same

time and we popped it, we also popped some when we landed on the ground suddenly the  room was silent...

We all looked at the the balloon and saw it was shredded into 5 little pieces

suddenly everybody started to laugh and laugh.

“Guys,” I whispered

“Who wants to do it again!!!”

“Me!!!!!!!!!!”

“Kids dinner time”.

“Ohhhhh”.

At midnight we all quietly tiptoed into the lounge to play with the

balloons, we finally made it to the lounge but…

Mum had popped all the balloons. “Mum!!!”